Oh, I have no intention of saying no. Honestly, I hadn't even considered that an option. I think the restlessness and turmoil I feel are more due to not knowing where to go next than to being unsure if this is the right choice for me.
While I understand that part of the process may very well be the uncertainty and that I need to be open and receptive to what is brought my way, I know that I don't want to be sitting by passively letting things happen. I have spent too much of my life doing that already and have worked very hard over the last 3 or 4 years at trying to break myself of those shy, passive, indecisive habits.
fyreseer told me last night that I am going through almost exactly the same things she did, and that I am just rocketing along the path. I know it's not really by conscious choice; I am not trying to move fast or force anything (in fact, I usually move along pretty cautiously), I'm just trying to move forward in general, to explore, to discover, to feel and immerse myself in living. The journey seems to be setting its own pace.
Would you have some time that we could talk? I'd love to hear your insight and guidance. Star, I have no idea if you know how much I love and respect you. You have been such a huge presence in my life and have helped me find my way countless times. I feel like I have known you forever instead of the few short years it has been - I trust you more than anyone else beside my wife.
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Date: 2005-03-22 05:20 pm (UTC)From:While I understand that part of the process may very well be the uncertainty and that I need to be open and receptive to what is brought my way, I know that I don't want to be sitting by passively letting things happen. I have spent too much of my life doing that already and have worked very hard over the last 3 or 4 years at trying to break myself of those shy, passive, indecisive habits.
Would you have some time that we could talk? I'd love to hear your insight and guidance. Star, I have no idea if you know how much I love and respect you. You have been such a huge presence in my life and have helped me find my way countless times. I feel like I have known you forever instead of the few short years it has been - I trust you more than anyone else beside my wife.